Tips on How to Coach Your Child
If you’ve ever tried to coach your child, you may have noticed they are not always as receptive to what you have to say as you’d like them to be. As a person who has coached thousands of individuals, from professional athletes and business executives to homemakers and youth, to improve their physical and mental capacity, I like to think I know what I’m doing. But when it comes to coaching my own children, it is definitely a challenge.
In the world of professional coaching, it is often said there are two types of coaches, those that have been fired and those that will be fired. And let me tell you, my sons have fired me more than I care to count. I'm way up into the double digits!
Why is that, you ask? Surely, an accomplished coach such as myself should have mastered the ability to coach his sons without getting a pink slip, right? Well, to tell you the truth, coaching my sons has been the easiest hardest thing to do, if that makes sense. The key thing I’ve discovered is that at the end of the day, whether they tore up their sports endeavor or they had a disappointing day, you have to be Dad (or Mom) when they need Dad (or Mom) and Coach when they need Coach. It’s not easy, and I admit I struggle with discerning when to step into each of those roles.
We’ve all been there, watching our child compete in a game, with no awareness of anyone else on the field because our eyes are fixated on our kid. We watch their every move and can't wait till the game is over to point out their shortcomings. The conversation may start with, “You need to be more assertive out there…” I used to do this all the time, until my wife implemented the “sixty-minute rule,” which is that I cannot give any feedback back for sixty minutes after a game. Not only that, but the input I provide must be positive as well! It has worked wonders in our household.
As parents, it is only normal for us to want to see our children achieve and attain excellence. But we must realize that greatness is a process which requires incredible patience on our part. If you think about it, you probably didn’t do everything right as a youngster, and probably still make mistakes today. I know I do! But for the most part, the only person we have to answer to is ourselves. We don’t have someone watching our every move and pointing out all of our mistakes to us all the time. That’s why it is so important to give our children room to fail. The losses, the disappointments, and the adversity helps them build character.
Hopefully, I will keep reminding myself of the virtues sports help build, and not focus so much on the score of the game.
Have a great day!
If you want to be coached to a higher level of performance, click on the link below to learn about how you can join a Carlisle Performance Systems program to make your best even better!
PS: I'd love to know who your best coach was. Please e-mail me.
Also, if you have ever wondered what to feed your kids before or after a game, I have created a free nutrition guide for you to download.
See you soon! Let’s get better together! Stay tuned for training tips.